In my retirement, I finally truly understand the power of the words I was told at my wedding – “Yes, Dear!”

Most of us had a reference such as this at our wedding toast if the best man was married:  “The key to a successful marriage is two simple words, ‘Yes, Dear!'”  Marriage is a joint partnership; it takes collaboration, give and take, working together, not always needing to be right…  But I have never been fond of being wrong.

Now that I am home, those two words “Yes, Dear!” are more important than ever.  I used to go to work and interact with people all day.  Sometimes it was fun, sometimes stressful, I was always on… when I came home, if I was stressed and snapped at someone, I could blame it on work.  Now, however, as my wife likes to say, “I am in her space”.  She is adjusting to having me around more during the day.  While we love our new found time together, it changes her routine and can cause some stress for both of us.  And now, if I am stressed and become agitated, it is the same causes of stress that she has had all along – keeping up with kids, house, cooking, appointments, homework, fitness and the list goes on.  We summarize it in our family as “oh, I am just cooking, cleaning, washing, scrubbing!!”

Inevitably, I make a comment to my wife during the day.  It might be innocent and inquiring, “why do you do it that way?…”  It might be more critical and judgmental in tone, “why do you do it THAT way?!”  Either approach, I always regret asking!  It is a sensitive time.  My wife is adjusting to having some of her daily routines challenged and it is not always pretty.  I need to learn the power of those two important words in my life and I need to continue learning the lesson to L’Eggo My Ego!

My wife and I are spending more time together now than ever and we love it.  In our first two weeks, we are exercising together, shopping together, relaxing together, enjoying each other and sharing the load at home and with the kids.  We realize we also need our own time and will settle into a balanced routine.  Fortunately, we have always been each others best friend.

My wife and I are talking more about the future and are discussing our near term goals and routines (this week/month); our mid-term goals (this year/this summer as we begin to plan an RV Adventure!); and our long-term goals (the next 5-25 years!).  As we get re-oriented, re-aligned, and re-tire, it will become easier as we work toward the same goals.  Until then, I realize it is important that I adjust and finally learn, in my retirement, the true meaning and power of those words I was told at my wedding… “Yes, Dear!”