ceYoGA: Life Balance

As an ex-CEO in early retirement, I am pursuing several paths to strengthen skills that have laid dormant and neglected for the past two decades. One of these new pursuits is a training program to become a certified yoga teacher.

In The Circus of Life, yoga is a great complement to being a CEO. While one requires skills of juggling, multi-tasking, thinking of every impact and consequences; the other requires balance, singular focus, and training oneself to be fully present focused on every breath and movement.

I decided to pursue yoga training/certification as a way to do a deep dive into yoga and get even closer to my wife who has been on a yoga journey for the past 15 years. I also wanted this yoga teacher training as a way to commit to more regular exercise and getting fit – It has given me so much more.

My small weekday class at YogaFox is a wonderful and eclectic cross-section of people, good people. There is a fire/belly dancer juggling multiple priorities as she builds a business of teaching and managing entertainers; a young kick-fighter who is building so much confidence as she gets fit and, literally, kicks ass; a mother who is using yoga training as a way to bring some focus back to herself; a newly pregnant woman who is learning to manage her changing center of gravity every month; and myself, an ex-CEO who is taking the time to reflect, get re-grounded, and take better care of himself. Good people, each on a journey for different reasons and each enjoying each other’s company one week a month for six months.

Our teacher is highly educated in yoga and shares everything from the incredible and cleansing experiences of breathing, to the history and philosophy of yoga, to leading and assisting the asanas (postures), and the management of running a yoga studio. She brings humor into our class as we realize at the same time how beneficial it is to truly bring yoga into our daily life, and how challenging that can be in today’s world.

Yoga PhilosophyYesterday we studied and discussed the Yamas and Niyamas of yoga – the restrains and observations. Each yama and niyama was fascinating as we discussed it in depth. Each spoke to me as exactly what I need to focus on right now. Each had depth and applicability to every individual in every situation. And each was more relevant in today’s hectic, ego-centric, type A world, than ever before. A few examples:

YamasAhimsa (non-violence) – “My thoughts and actions are focused on loving awareness. I nurture and cherish myself and others. I am aware that the mind sometimes entertains thoughts of fear, anger, or selfishness but I do not get caught in these thoughts or act upon them. I accept, without judgement, any uncomfortable mental states. I release them and return to gentle, non-violent expressions of my energy.” – what a wonderful demonstration of how we can take the skills of meditation (quieting the mind and letting thoughts pass without judgement) into our daily lives… and what a challenge!

Asteya (Non-Stealing) – “I live in gratitude for all I have. I take and use only what is rightfully mine. I respect the possessions and talents of others and release my desires to own objects or talents I do not have. I appreciate my life as it is.”

Yoga NiyamaTapas (Austerity) – “I cultivate discipline. I have a realistic, balanced schedule for my seva (service), sadhana (practice), and personal needs. I am disciplined and also relaxed. I do not drain my energy by over effort and over work. My purpose is clear, my mind is decisive.”

Each yama or niyama can be very deep on its own, relating to our bodies, our minds, our actions, our environment, and our relationship with others. Each can be seen in the space of a moment, a day, or a lifetime. At the same time, when you look at the set of 10 yamas and niyamas we also see the balance between them. While Asteya (non-stealing) says we release our desire to own an object or talent we do not have, Tapas (austerity) says we bring daily discipline to work on ourselves. Thus, it is a balance of personal commitment and improvement without an unhealthy desire or focus on the outcome. Simply enjoy each moment, the journey, the practice… and by doing so, we will grow regardless.

Unknowingly, my yoga journey is quite yoga-esque. I did not sign up for yoga training because I have a strong desire to become a yoga instructor. I signed up to create a daily practice, to learn, and to gain something new I can share with my wife. And because of this, I am enjoying my training all the more – not thinking about ‘what will be on the test’ or ‘can I master teaching the class’ – simply appreciating the time together for one week a month with wonderful people, each on their own journey in life. Damn! I am starting to sound like a real yogi!

Each month when my yoga training week comes around I experience some resistance. “Oh no, there goes my whole week.” Then we take a few slow, deep breaths, and the world melts away and I can see it from a more distant perspective. At its best, yoga is calming and energizing; it is self-improving and non-judgemental; it is focused and mind expanding; it is priceless and I am glad to be on my journey with my instructor, my belly dancer, kick-fighter, mother, and mom-to-be.

… I can’t wait until next month!

What are you exploring along your life journey?!

Explore these great values this holiday season!

A few months ago you could have asked me about my life purpose and values and I would have given you a very confident, ingrained, knee-jerk response:

“My Purpose? Improving Lives!”… no, wait, that was Procter & Gamble’s Purpose, not mine…

“My Values? Leadership; Integrity; Innovation”… no, wait, those were also Procter & Gamble’s… damn!

So, I spent some time over the past few months while working at coaching training to think about my energizing life purpose and my personal values. The first thing I realized is, they don’t have to be perfect, permanent, nor formal – go with what works for you today and you can revisit it as you grow. My life purpose, for now, is simply to “Enjoy and Explore The Circus of Life!” It will evolve overtime but for now it is inspiring as there is so much to explore that I have ignored for too long!

A few of my newly recognized personal values are “Simple, Flexible, and Fun”. I love these energizing values, quite different than some of my older stale ones.

simplify-in-word-collage-44046403Live Simply: For decades now, Americans have been manipulated to consume as much as we possibly can. Making more money? Buy a new car! The newest car, another computer, more cable stations, more clothes, more shoes, this year’s fashions, more kitchen gadgets,  and everything we could possible desire in the holiday season! Since when did people decide they need to have a new phone every year?! And for their children, too?! This year, we are going against the crowd and beginning to simplify. Now, we see that more and more American’s are waking up and doing the same.

Our family is in the midst of downsizing. We had a big house. It required a staff – cleaning lady, pest control service, lawn guys, pool guy, and more. We had fun in the house but we also filled every room, every closet, every spot in the 3 car garage with… crap! Now, we are donating things and preparing to move into a smaller, simpler house in a smaller, simpler community. In the interim, we have sold our house and put 2/3rds of our stuff in storage while we live in a rental home. The kids have mattresses on the floor and only a few toys — and they LOVE IT!!!

Working to say goodbye to high consumerism will take time as we form new habits; but we already feel the sense of freedom. SIMPLE is a wonderful value that makes us more aware and appreciative!

Be Flexible: My current life phase is one where I don’t want to make any new big commitments. Rather, I want to explore different things, new hobbies, fitness, cooking, spend time with friends and family, enjoy the many spices of life. Being flexible and spontaneous is a new value and one which I did not have the luxury of honoring while I was triple booked every day in a corporate life for two decades. Now, I have a list of things I may want to do on any given day, but if my wife wants to go somewhere, or a friend calls, I am free to reshuffle on a moments notice. Amazing things happen when you simply go with the flow. Flexible brings pleasant surprises daily!

Have FunLife is too short. If it ain’t fun, it ain’t worth it. There are so many examples any of us could give here from big fun to having fun in the mundane; but I think the underlying theme that has been important for me (and maybe for you) is: stop taking yourself so seriously! No one else really cares if you don’t look great, mess up, or simply goof off in public. In fact, others will probably appreciate it. Even if they don’t, you will! Enjoy life, enjoy the moment, enjoy your kids, and chill out!

So, my currently stated purpose is to “Explore and Enjoy The Circus of Life“.  A few of my values include Simple, Flexible, and Fun.* Staying true to this life compass for 2016 is energizing and should be a wonderful ride!

*P.S. – Other values remain important to me — Integrity, Creativity, Leadership, Collaboration, Reflection to name a few — but I am loving giving my new values top billing for a while as I flex some atrophied muscles with “Simple, Flexible, and Fun!”

What are some of your best values that can energize and guide your life?!

Mindfulness has it’s privileges!

I have three children. At any point in time, one tends to be an overachiever, one tends to be anxious or worried, and one tends to dwell with some resentment on the past…

The other day, after some morning chaos at home, I drove them to school and gave them an admittedly rambling lecture on “being present”. I said something like:

  • While we can reflect on the past and learn from our failures, we should not dwell on regrets about the past;
  • While we can be excited about the future and think about it’s opportunities, we should not miss enjoying things today because we are too busy worrying or being anxious about the future;
  • Instead, we need to try to stay focused on the present, what we are doing now, what we are feeling, being aware of the people and beauty around us;
  • Life doesn’t happen in the future or in the past but HERE and NOW, so we should try to stay focused on the here and now and truly enjoy every moment – we don’t want to miss it – we want to be present in our life!

I wasn’t proud. I felt like my ad lib description had been a bit rambling and had not likely landed for my kids. Then, to my amazement, my youngest, who I thought to have been barely listening from the backseat, said, “It’s like the peace reflection we said this week!”

“What?” I asked, surprised she might have heard let alone comprehended what I had said.

“Well, every morning this week on the school announcement system they have read a poem that says:

Yesterday is History,

Tomorrow’s a Mystery,

Today is a Gift,

That’s why it’s called the Present”

I picked my jaw up from the floor and swerved back onto the road!

My son confirmed, since he was the kid doing announcements at school, this was indeed the poem he had read over the loudspeakers all week. We were able to discuss ideas as a family of how to remind ourselves to be focused on the present and treat as many moments as possible “a gift”. We could appreciate big things and small in nature, be even more aware of the people around us, be conscious and aware of our feelings and our actions. It was a great and lively discussion!

It was yet another moment where I was so appreciative to be spending precious time with my children instead of rushing frantically to work.

Interestingly, when I dropped my kids off at school, my youngest asked me to walk her to her classroom. Being in the moment, I agreed and we walked hand-in-hand through the school grounds.

When we reached her classroom, I knelt down to say goodbye to her. She gave me a big hug and even a kiss, something she rarely does in public. Then, as she walked away she turned and called out “I love you, Daddy!” and continued on her way…

…Mindfulness certainly has it’s privileges!

hand-in-hand
Love is… being present with one another.

Why you can’t remember what you had for dinner last night!

How many times have you said, “I can’t even remember what I had for dinner last night!”? You might worry that your memory is failing; worry that you are becoming absent-minded; worry that you have too much going on…

…it is actually much simpler than that and it is easy to fix.

Phone in to Dinner

You don’t remember what you had for dinner because you were barely present there in the first place! You were absent (thus, absent-minded) or thinking about other things (thus, scatter-brained) and missing the moment…

“How can you expect to remember something that you barely experienced the first time?!”

Slow down, take a breath before dinner or any other important moment with loved ones. Take a break from texting, emailing, phones, mail, TV, internet, regret (about the past), worry (about the future) and simply BE PRESENT. It is the best advice for each of us – busy executives, soccer moms, parents, young adults, and teenagers… take a breath, get in touch with your surroundings, your senses, realize you are in control of your mind.

Be Present at DinnerIf you need a reminder, write “BREATHE” at your place setting so you can sit and take two deep breaths before your meal. It is amazing what two deep cleansing breaths can do to clear your head, get in touch with your body, and focus your mind on the present moment. Life doesn’t happen in the past or in the future; life happens NOW so be aware and present in the moment!

Here is your challenge – and it is completely in your control:

For the next seven days, before each meal take a few slow breaths and stay present throughout the meal. You will have more meaningful conversations, time to reflect, will make better choices, and you will experience simple moments worth remembering — every day!

We live in The Circus of Life — and you are the ringmaster — it is time to take control!