Often times, therapists will say, “Lean into the discomfort” — at least, that is what I am told they say! Lean into the discomfort, embrace it, learn from it, and stretch yourself to see your blindspots.
Similarly, we must learn to “Lean into the Joy!” It is too common that when we are feeling true joy we make it a fleeting moment. We turn our back on it for any number of saboteurs: I am not worthy, I need to get back to work, I shouldn’t spend the time or money on this, I look foolish, and on and on.
I believe the purpose of life is to explore life; love, learn, and connect to others with joy.
I believe the purpose of life is to explore life; love, learn, and connect to others with joy. For many of us, we must learn once again to lean in and explore joy, to explore life, since so much of our world has been filled and constrained by shame, a quest for certainty, pride, and even hatred as we go along what we believe is a set path.
A Researcher/Storyteller, Brené Brown, has been conducting research on the interwoven topics of shame, joy, and vulnerability and concluded that the key to joy and whole-heartedness is vulnerability. Exposing your emotions and being open to uncertainty – quite the opposite of what she expected when she looked to quantify and control these variables. In her books, including Daring Greatly, she lays out 10 attributes we can cultivate to find whole-hearted living. Read through this list and score yourself – it is eye opening.
Whole-Hearted Living
- Cultivating authenticity: Letting go of what people think
- Cultivating self-compassion: Letting go of perfectionism
- Cultivating a resilient spirit: Letting go of numbing and powerlessness
- Cultivating gratitude and joy: Letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark
- Cultivating intuition and trusting faith: Letting go of the need for certainty
- Cultivating creativity: Letting go of comparison
- Cultivating play and rest: Letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth
- Cultivating calm and stillness: Letting go of anxiety as a life style
- Cultivating meaningful work: Letting go of self-doubt and “supposed to”
- Cultivating laughter, song, and dance: Letting go of being cool and always in control
Looking back over the past 20 years, while I dedicated much of my life and identity to climbing the corporate ladder, I would score myself 1 or 2 out of 10 on this list. Now, as I am slowing down, being more mindful, and challenging cultural paradigms, I am improving and have a long way to go. How much does our American culture of consumerism influence our daily focus? Letting go of our Ego is an important first step and it takes daily practice.
What can you do to pursue whole-heartedness and joy? Can you think of a simple step to do today? Tomorrow? Everyday? Share in the comments below so you can help others lean in!
Here are a few simple ideas to get started:
- Print out the list from above and put it in a visible place: (here is a simple word document of the Whole Hearted Living List)
- Call or write a friend for no reason other than to re-connect (and LISTEN to them, truly LISTEN to them)!
- Take a new class on a topic that you know NOTHING about (yoga is a great equalizer)
- Watch or listen to speakers on the topic: Click here for a 20 minute Brene Brown TED Talk or, if you want to relax with a simple movie, here is Wayne Dyer’s “The Shift”.
- Start a journal to capture your stream of consciousness… it is amazing to see what comes out.
Share some of your thoughts or ideas here in the comment section. Lean Into Joy and Whole-Heartedness: we may not have had time in the morning, but now in the afternoon of our lives, IT. IS. TIME.
