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MyLife2.0 - The Journey and Journal, Simplicity, Updates

Making the Shift toward Joy and Thanksgiving!

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Shifting from Pursuing Wealth Maximization to Pursuing Daily Joy!

The Dalai Lama says: “Many who are indifferent to any form of spiritual practice are materially well off in some developed countries, but even then they are completely unsatisfied. Although they are affluent they are not content. They suffer the anguish of wanting more, so that although they are materially wealthy, they are mentally poor. It is when they find that they cannot achieve whatever they wish for that the trouble really starts. They become depressed and anxiety creeps in. I have talked with some of my friends who are very wealthy, but because of their material outlook on life, they are absorbed by business and make no room for a practice, which might help them gain some perspective. In the process they actually lose the dream of happiness, which money was to have provided”

The word “practice” can be filled here with “mindfulness, meditation, religion, friends, family, love, reflection, hobbies, passion, simplicity, joy,” etc. The point is, in life and in retirement, we would do well to turn our focus from making money and pursuing material things to pursuing our own development, our joy, our own journey. In my words, a simple and dramatic Shift from Pursuing Wealth Maximization to Pursuing Daily Joy! (see, also, Breaking the Paradox)

Where do you find your Joy?! Is it in:
— reading, meditation, prayer?
— helping, serving others, volunteering?
— learning, pursuing new hobbies, home maintenance?
— exercise, sports, physical fitness, pushing your boundaries?
— socialization, travel, camping, RVing?
— exploring the arts, music, theatre?
— reflecting on the world in macro terms or micro perspective?
— connecting with people, old and new friends?

How can you commit to pursuing more of it, everyday?!

The Joy of Retirement comes from a combination of broad perspective and mindfulness of the moment!
The Joy of Retirement comes from a combination of broad perspective and mindfulness of the moment!

Pursuing Daily Joy trains us to be in the moment even while growing and developing toward long term goals. The path emerges as you focus on each step — and the beauty and surprises of life will be welcomed with joy. Find a near term goal, short term purpose, or simply follow your heart, gut, or intuition.

In today’s day and age, it is more important than ever that we train or re-train ourselves to SHIFT GEARS and focus on the Daily Pursuit of Joy instead of the obsession with material pursuits; being in the moment, and energizing others by sharing our engagement and sincerity in every encounter. EnJoy the experience! Be Good. Do Good. Have Fun!

Start now… reflect and SHARE this and other posts from The Joy of Retirement with others just in time for Thanksgiving! Feel free to go back and read other pages about Ego, Mindfulness, Simplicity, Joy, and more and Share the Joy!

How do you you find daily joy?

If you have begun the Shift, what surprises you about this shift of gears from the pursuit of wealth to the pursuit of joy?!

 

Resources: The Way to Freedom (by the Dalai Lama), The Shift (by Wayne Dwyer)

Structure for Well-Being, Updates

The First and Most Important Agreement

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I recently posted a photo reminder of The Four Agreements and had quite a few questions about them. So, I thought it would be helpful to write a bit more about each of these agreements. As we explore retirement, we each hope to be more thoughtful, wise, reflective… sometimes we must challenge ourselves to gain these insights and learnings – let’s do it!

Four AgreementsFirst, let me give full credit to where credit is due. Don Miguel Ruiz wrote The Four Agreements, a relatively short book based on ancient teachings of the Toltec’s of Mexico. Irregardless of where they came from originally, they hold great power for each of us today.

These four Agreements are important to consider in order, and the first is clearly the most important. If we can each live by this one Agreement we would eliminate the vast majority of drama, pain, and misunderstanding in our lives and for those around us.

The words of the first Agreement are simple: Be Impeccable with Your Word.

The intent and discipline behind that Agreement, however, are not as simple but very achievable for each of us with practice.

What does Impeccable mean. Certainly, it means be conscious, be choiceful of each word but with what intent? Impeccable comes from the Latin, pecatus, meaning “sin”. Im means “without”. Without Sin in this context doesn’t necessarily refer to religious sin but more broadly moral sin as you may define it. Don’t sin against others or yourself by speaking words of blame, implying guilt, using hurtful words – words that hurt others and ourselves.

So often we use our words to share anger, jealousy, envy, hate, and knowingly or unknowingly create confusion or misdirection in others. How often do our words, and those of others, communicate ‘unsubstantiated truths’ — GOSSIP! And what is the impact of gossip? It is a disturbing and far reaching ripple that can have a significant and long lasting impact on others. When we spend even a moment to reflect on it, it is evident there is no room or reason for gossip in our lives. We should make a commitment now to not speak it, not listen to it, it has no positive purpose for us. Part of Being Impeccable with Our Word, is being conscious about the discipline of eliminating gossip from our mouths and from our interactions every day. I am not saying it is easy, it will take practice, and I will come back to that in a moment.

So, if we seek to eliminate harmful words communicating blame, jealousy, spreading gossip, etc. you may ask, “what is left?!” It is simple and sounds so flowery: Truth and Love.

Speak the truth – share beneficial observations, creativity, curiosity, inquiry to better understand the world and the people around you.

Speak with love – share kindness, service, gratitude, fun and acknowledgement of others around you.
In very short order you will realize the “superpower” in each of us. We have the ability to impact those around us in dramatic and meaningful ways. Positive WordsOur Superpower can be used for good or evil. When we speak words of compassion, we lift people up. We give ourselves and others energy, inspiration, and generate smiles all around us. We do not speak fake positive words or speak with insincerity – simply by removing the negativity and connecting with others in a positive way, we build a better world all around us. We have that Superpower completely within our control.

Lastly, we must “Be Impeccable with Our Word” for OURSELVES. Think carefully about the words we use with ourselves. “Why do bad things always happen to me?” creates a negative energy and a mental focus on bad things — we then reinforce that and see negative things happening to us more often becoming a depressing downward spiral. Or, “I need to lose weight” labels as someone who needs to lose weight – starting tomorrow? or the day after that? but never brings action today! Instead, if focus on the positive and the NOW, if we say to ourselves, “I eat healthy foods” you can feel the impact almost immediately. We feel different, we act different, we eat different. Words are powerful.

Join me in practicing the first of the Four Agreements, and trust me, I am working on it, too! It is first Agreement because it is the most important. It’s daily practice gets us thinking differently and let’s us experience that difference for ourselves and it’s impact on those around us. Be Impeccable with Your Word – Speak only from truth and love. If you fall short one day, notice where and when it happened. Reflect on it at the end of the day and start the next day fresh, again and again. We have built our habits over many days and years, this Agreement will take daily practice and daily discipline but the insights and payoff are immense.

I know you can Be Impeccable with Your Word. It is one of the few things in life which is fully in each of our control. Seize control and let me know what you learn!

…then, we can move on to the Second Agreement! If you enjoyed this post, share with others so we can broaden the impact and learn together.

Updates

Explore these great values this holiday season!

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A few months ago you could have asked me about my life purpose and values and I would have given you a very confident, ingrained, knee-jerk response:

“My Purpose? Improving Lives!”… no, wait, that was Procter & Gamble’s Purpose, not mine…

“My Values? Leadership; Integrity; Innovation”… no, wait, those were also Procter & Gamble’s… damn!

So, I spent some time over the past few months while working at coaching training to think about my energizing life purpose and my personal values. The first thing I realized is, they don’t have to be perfect, permanent, nor formal – go with what works for you today and you can revisit it as you grow. My life purpose, for now, is simply to “Enjoy and Explore The Circus of Life!” It will evolve overtime but for now it is inspiring as there is so much to explore that I have ignored for too long!

A few of my newly recognized personal values are “Simple, Flexible, and Fun”. I love these energizing values, quite different than some of my older stale ones.

simplify-in-word-collage-44046403Live Simply: For decades now, Americans have been manipulated to consume as much as we possibly can. Making more money? Buy a new car! The newest car, another computer, more cable stations, more clothes, more shoes, this year’s fashions, more kitchen gadgets,  and everything we could possible desire in the holiday season! Since when did people decide they need to have a new phone every year?! And for their children, too?! This year, we are going against the crowd and beginning to simplify. Now, we see that more and more American’s are waking up and doing the same.

Our family is in the midst of downsizing. We had a big house. It required a staff – cleaning lady, pest control service, lawn guys, pool guy, and more. We had fun in the house but we also filled every room, every closet, every spot in the 3 car garage with… crap! Now, we are donating things and preparing to move into a smaller, simpler house in a smaller, simpler community. In the interim, we have sold our house and put 2/3rds of our stuff in storage while we live in a rental home. The kids have mattresses on the floor and only a few toys — and they LOVE IT!!!

Working to say goodbye to high consumerism will take time as we form new habits; but we already feel the sense of freedom. SIMPLE is a wonderful value that makes us more aware and appreciative!

Be Flexible: My current life phase is one where I don’t want to make any new big commitments. Rather, I want to explore different things, new hobbies, fitness, cooking, spend time with friends and family, enjoy the many spices of life. Being flexible and spontaneous is a new value and one which I did not have the luxury of honoring while I was triple booked every day in a corporate life for two decades. Now, I have a list of things I may want to do on any given day, but if my wife wants to go somewhere, or a friend calls, I am free to reshuffle on a moments notice. Amazing things happen when you simply go with the flow. Flexible brings pleasant surprises daily!

Have Fun! Life is too short. If it ain’t fun, it ain’t worth it. There are so many examples any of us could give here from big fun to having fun in the mundane; but I think the underlying theme that has been important for me (and maybe for you) is: stop taking yourself so seriously! No one else really cares if you don’t look great, mess up, or simply goof off in public. In fact, others will probably appreciate it. Even if they don’t, you will! Enjoy life, enjoy the moment, enjoy your kids, and chill out!

So, my currently stated purpose is to “Explore and Enjoy The Circus of Life“.  A few of my values include Simple, Flexible, and Fun.* Staying true to this life compass for 2016 is energizing and should be a wonderful ride!

*P.S. – Other values remain important to me — Integrity, Creativity, Leadership, Collaboration, Reflection to name a few — but I am loving giving my new values top billing for a while as I flex some atrophied muscles with “Simple, Flexible, and Fun!”

What are some of your best values that can energize and guide your life?!

MyLife2.0 - The Journey and Journal, Updates

Breaking the Paradox of Retirement

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Some people pursue early retirement and realize they feel a twinge of guilt (I did). They may experience a loss of identity (I did); they may be searching for purpose, community, and structure (I did); they may be feeling fickle as they flirt with one interest or another (I did); and as they hear people say, “I could never retire…” they may wonder, have I done the right thing? Does this feel right to me? Why am I feeling guilty?! (I did — and that felt like a ridiculous paradox!).

I know I felt that twinge of guilt the other day while I was at a coaching seminar. I was re-exploring my personal purpose and values when I realized I was feeling guilty about what I deemed a non-committal attitude. It has been just over one year since I retired from the corporate world and I was starting to feel a bit guilty for not truly committing to a new path or big endeavor. Ironically, I was feeling guilty for enjoying the lack of stress, the new-found freedom, the sense of satisfaction of not flying, not wearing suits, not being tied to email…

I realized I had been defining myself but what I DIDN’T want to be (i.e. corporate) but I wasn’t driving much clarity on who I DID want to be (?). Historically, I needed to make a commitment to something big to help define me… but what was that to be? I had always had a big commitment, a big goal, at the center of my being — I had been feeling a void in its place.

Someone said, “Maybe you need to commit to not committing?” It was a good try but it didn’t satisfy me. It was still defining myself through a negative, what I would NOT commit to…

Turning this corner inspired me to dive in and pursue "The Circus of Life!"
Turning this corner inspired me to dive in and pursue “The Circus of Life!”

I let my eyes drift to  a picture in the corner, actually two pictures, and suddenly saw an enlightening representation of what I was experiencing in my life transformation. The picture on the right represented my corporate experience. While I had greatly enjoyed my corporate career, it was only one or two dimensional; while it had sparks of color, it wasn’t truly vibrant or unleashed…
When I looked at the picture to the left in contrast, I suddenly felt joy, fun, energetic, dynamic, creative, movement, anything goes. I got sucked into the picture and said, “I commit to THAT picture. I commit to pursuing The Circus of Life!”

Circus of Life - 3D AwesomeWhat does this commitment to “The Circus of Life” mean to me? It means I can fully commit to exploring life in all aspects:

  • new learnings, new experiences, new adventures, new hobbies…
  • no judgements, no regrets, no hesitations, no boundaries…
  • endless creativity, endless fun, endless possibilities, endless joy…

The simple paradigm shift suddenly solved the paradox I had been facing. That nagging sense of guilt in my early retirement from a lack of commitment was suddenly transformed into an energizing commitment that inspires me without constraint. To pursue “The Circus of Life” to its fullest and help others do so is a great commitment – perhaps a new life purpose. Along the way, I will explore new hobbies, new adventures, new humor, new stories, perhaps some other new commitments as I discover them — and I will paint my new picture of life. From now on, my life will always resemble a bit of a circus – some chaos, some balance, and a lot of fun – The Circus of Life. The truth is, it has always been a bit of a circus — it just took me looking in a new way to see it!

What does “The Circus of Life” mean to you?! In what way does it inspire you?

MyLife2.0 - The Journey and Journal, Structure for Well-Being, Updates

Lean into the Joy and Whole-heartedness of Life

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Often times, therapists will say, “Lean into the discomfort” — at least, that is what I am told they say! Lean into the discomfort, embrace it, learn from it, and stretch yourself to see your blindspots.

Similarly, we must learn to “Lean into the Joy!” It is too common that when we are feeling true joy we make it a fleeting moment. We turn our back on it for any number of saboteurs: I am not worthy, I need to get back to work, I shouldn’t spend the time or money on this, I look foolish, and on and on.

I believe the purpose of life is to explore life; love, learn, and connect to others with joy.

Whole-Hearted Joy
Pursue Whole-Hearted Joy in Retirement

I believe the purpose of life is to explore life; love, learn, and connect to others with joy. For many of us, we must learn once again to lean in and explore joy, to explore life, since so much of our world has been filled and constrained by shame, a quest for certainty, pride, and even hatred as we go along what we believe is a set path.

A Researcher/Storyteller, Brené Brown, has been conducting research on the interwoven topics of shame, joy, and vulnerability and concluded that the key to joy and whole-heartedness is vulnerability. Exposing your emotions and being open to uncertainty – quite the opposite of what she expected when she looked to quantify and control these variables. In her books, including Daring Greatly,  she lays out 10 attributes we can cultivate to find whole-hearted living. Read through this list and score yourself – it is eye opening.

Whole-Hearted Living

  • Cultivating authenticity: Letting go of what people think
  • Cultivating self-compassion: Letting go of perfectionism
  • Cultivating a resilient spirit: Letting go of numbing and powerlessness
  • Cultivating gratitude and joy: Letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark
  • Cultivating intuition and trusting faith: Letting go of the need for certainty
  • Cultivating creativity: Letting go of comparison
  • Cultivating play and rest: Letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth
  • Cultivating calm and stillness: Letting go of anxiety as a life style
  • Cultivating meaningful work: Letting go of self-doubt and “supposed to”
  • Cultivating laughter, song, and dance: Letting go of being cool and always in control

Looking back over the past 20 years, while I dedicated much of my life and identity to climbing the corporate ladder, I would score myself 1 or 2 out of 10 on this list. Now, as I am slowing down, being more mindful, and challenging cultural paradigms, I am improving and have a long way to go. How much does our American culture of consumerism influence our daily focus? Letting go of our Ego is an important first step and it takes daily practice.

What can you do to pursue whole-heartedness and joy? Can you think of a simple step to do today? Tomorrow? Everyday? Share in the comments below so you can help others lean in!

Here are a few simple ideas to get started:

  1. Print out the list from above and put it in a visible place: (here is a simple word document of the Whole Hearted Living List)
  2. Call or write a friend for no reason other than to re-connect (and LISTEN to them, truly LISTEN to them)!
  3. Take a new class on a topic that you know NOTHING about (yoga is a great equalizer)
  4. Watch or listen to speakers on the topic: Click here for a 20 minute Brene Brown TED Talk or, if you want to relax with a simple movie, here is Wayne Dyer’s “The Shift”.
  5. Start a journal to capture your stream of consciousness… it is amazing to see what comes out.

Share some of your thoughts or ideas here in the comment section. Lean Into Joy and Whole-Heartedness: we may not have had time in the morning, but now in the afternoon of our lives, IT. IS. TIME.

Updates

Still Goal Oriented — but new goals!

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For years, as I built my career one of my key goals and measures was how much I made in compensation. I was motivated and rewarded by an increase in salary, a bigger bonus, stock options or other monetary incentives.

This focus on wealth creation was largely consistent with the American way – bigger, better, more. I brought value to the companies I grew, and I was compensated increasingly for my abilities. I played the game, enjoyed it, and did pretty well. For me, I decided to stop playing that game.

Now, as I move into early retirement, I have not given up on goals. I remain goal oriented but my goals and priorities have shifted. To mention a few:

  • Losing weight and improving my physical fitness for long term health;
  • Learning new skills and hobbies for myself and my family;
  • Taking better care of my wife, my children, my house;
  • Challenging cultural paradigms I have simply accepted for too many years;
  • Challenging myself to think about my spending patterns for the near term and long term;
  • Exploring nature and the true nature of people;
  • Being a better person and making more conscious choices.

Goals are important and the RIGHT GOALS ARE EVEN MORE IMPORTANT.

I will continue to re-evaluate priorities and goals with my wife and children as I re-tire, re-tread, re-calibrate. It is thrilling and energizing to build a purpose driven life on your own terms. There is a model for happiness, and much of it starts by realizing you have much greater control and choice in this world than many believe.

Start by being positive, being proactive, and being true to yourself.

Explore the world and challenge paradigms; let go of your ego, reflect and try new things.

There are too many wonderful games in life to only play one game, one way, with one goal. What are YOUR goals?!

Updates

Time Magazine Article

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Why I Want a Real Retirement…

More and more Americans are wrestling with when to start their retirement.  The powerful commercial culture around us promotes “spend your way to happiness” and defines most people based on their jobs.  Thus, the daily messages we are bombarded by say “keep working — forever!”  Longer life expectancy and increasing problems with Social Security put even more pressure on us.

However, more and more Americans are deciding to start pursuing their true passions now while they have the mental, physical and energy reserves to do so.  This group initially seems to be counter-culture but what is more American than pursuing your passion and dreams?!  As always, I would rather swim upstream, take the road less traveled, and be ahead of the curve!

The fact that The Joy of Retirement taps into an increasing trend in America is again evidenced by an October 6, 2014 article by TIME, “Why I Want a Real Retirement, And You Should Too!”  The article succinctly share some of the conflicts of retirement now versus later, a brief history of retirement trends, and personal conclusion by the author and editor of Ideas at Time Magazine, Ruth Davis Konigsberg, that “I want to make sure that I have not just the time also but the ability to enjoy more than just a few years when work is no longer the priority.”

Ironically, it is, of course, published under the heading of –

Money
Retirement is NOT just about the Money!

We still have a long way to go to change the paradigms — do your part to help by sharing The Joy of Retirement with friends and family as we build an increasingly engaged community!

Updates

THE JOY OF RETIREMENT – Coming Soon! Help by sharing your ideas and interests now —

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The Joy of Retirement is coming soon!  My intent is to build a community where people can explore retirement at any stage of life to find balance, purpose, community and share great stories of what is possible when we dare to think differently than the masses.

Beach Solo
Getting ready for MyLife2.0

I am a young ex-CEO with three kids.  I think it is incredibly exciting to explore what early retirement can be if you make life choices that bring greater balance to self and family, greater learning and development, and find a community of like-minded individuals who challenge the general paradigms to explore what is possible.

Don’t wait – get involved with The Joy of Retirement Now!  Let me know what you would be interested in learning or sharing with others by commenting below even as I work on the initial design and content of this exciting and needed site.